First we take over Broadway, and then the world

Hello all! So today I want to tell you about someone incredibly wonderful that I’ve come to admire over the last few months. This person has made my world so much brighter and filled it with endless streams of colour. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be who I am today without her. It’s crazy, to think that someone can have such an impact on your life. But it’s possible and those people are one in a million, they are special, unique and so beautiful. This post is dedicated to the one and only, Katherine Steele.

For those of you who don’t know who Kath is I highly recommend you check out her YouTube channel. I 100% promise you you’ll come away from just one video smiling. Katherine is a (talented) performer who just so happens to share her advice on everything theatre related online. She has created a loving family – the Theatre Thursday Fam. As well as geeking out about everything Broadway. She is the definition of the sunshine.

In the beginning

So I’ll set the scene for you. Its August 18th, and I receive a text from a friend of mine. She’s sent me a link to a YouTube video. I see it’s about Ben Platt. At the time I was obsessed with Ben so of course, I watched the video. Even though the video was about a serious topic I was still captivated by Kath’s charisma and positivity. The way I’d describe a Kath Steele video is like walking into a heated home after a long day out in the cold. So after seeing that first video I inevitably watched another, and then another. As expected I spent the next few days watching every video I could find of Katherine’s. It’s now hard for me to imagine a time when I didn’t know of this absolutely incredible person.

Unique Katherine

There are so many things about Kath that are so beautifully unique to her and her channel(s). Just to name a few, dramatic zooms, the family she has created and the ever so amazing dream casts for certain shows. I’ve picked up a few in the 7 or so months I’ve known Kath so here are a few things I’ve picked up about her!

Her vlogs! Sometimes Kat uploads a vlog of a show she’s going to see or, my personal favourite, the time she went to New York. They’re so interesting and I love hearing her opinion on the shows she gets to see. As well as finding out how similar (or different) theatre is in the US compared to the UK (where I’m from).

#TheatreThursday! It’s become a tradition for Kath to upload a video every Thursday that is theatre related and it utterly makes my day. I find Thursdays really tedious (I don’t know why I’m just not a fan of the day). However knowing that Katherine’s going to post a video completely makes my day and puts a smile on my face. It’s such a genius idea to create such a memorable series.

Katherine also has some really unique video ideas that I’ve never really seen before including ‘Broadway bite’, dream cast lists, character tutorials (where she does a makeup tutorial and talks through the character- super interesting!), and her ‘show mishaps’ series. I’ve never really seen this sort of creativity used on YouTube so it always excites me seeing these sort of videos appearing in my sub box!!

Over the last couple of months I’ve 100% been able to pick up how supportive Kat is of her fans. She’s constantly liking, replying and commenting on posts and replying to questions any of the Theatre Thursday Fam might have. It genuinely feels like a family that you can be yourself in, so I am grateful for Kath creating such a loving, funny and passionate family that is so beautiful.

Along with that last point Kath is selfless, she puts others before herself because she cares so much for the people around her, which just makes her even more of an incredible human. She tries to help people as much as she can which is so admirable. I aspire to be just as caring as she is one day.

Kath is incredibly welcoming to new members of the TTF. I remember when I joined the Theatre Thursday Family, I felt so included and like I was truly part of a family. There is no judgement from her or the people who follow her which again, is just truly wonderful!!

Kath also has a great fashion style (I’ll put some photos of her awesome outfits) but I’ve somehow found myself wearing more and more denim jackets the last few months….

Friends & advice

Thanks to Kat I’ve also discovered the theatre community and I’ve made so many incredible and supportive friends. It’s amazing to hear about what theatre is like all over the world and suppressing each other in our theatre journey’s. As well as finding people that also like Kath and her content. It’s so lovely to discuss videos uploaded and our opinions on them. I remember when Kath uploaded the video on ‘showmances’ the whole of a theatre group chat I’m in on twitter were talking about our experiences with it and it was super insightful. I’m so grateful for Katherine uploading videos that spark a discussion between friends.

Kath also gives some amazing advice. The tips she gives are so genuine and work so well. As it’s coming from someone who has experienced so much theatre it makes it even more helpful. Katherine has a video on pretty much anything you can think of to do with theatre. I’ve used so much of her advice and it’s always worked out better than I thought it ever could. I’ve also passed on so much of Kats advice to friends as well – which has worked wonders for them. She definitely knows what she is talking about and has shed so much light onto topics that didn’t even cross my mind before.

Inspirational Katherine

If anything, Kath has taught me how to be who I want to be. That my dreams are possible and life will always find a way to work out. She has shown me how to go out, smile and actually mean it. Every video she has posted has made me even more eager to pursue my dreams. When I first started watching Katherine’s channel I never thought I could actually have performing as a career. I never thought I was talented enough, worthy enough or even willing enough to take theatre further than a hobby. However over the several months I’ve known this magical and inspirational woman I’ve come to realise just how much my passion and heart lie on stage. Yes, there’s been a few bumps in the road but I’ve got past them, with her help, and become a stronger performer because of it. Everyday Katherine inspires me for reasons I’ll never be able to explain. For someone to brighten your day that you’ve never even met takes a special and wonderful soul. – I hope to have that one day, to live a life I am in control of.

To go along with that I can’t wait to see where Kath goes, I’ve said this to so many of my friends but she’s Broadway material, and more than deserving of a Tony. From the little snippets of singing I’ve heard, Kath has a beautiful voice and talent that is something to be proud of. I really couldn’t be prouder of how far Kath has come. If she’s not on some Broadway stage in the next year I’ll be shocked.

To conclude……

I may have only known Kath for a few months yet I feel like I’ve known her for forever. The things I’ve learnt from her in this short space of time I know I’ll carry with me until I die. It’s not Just in theatre but in life. I’ve been struggling to see just how bright life can be and wanting to give up entirely at certain points but, because of what Kath has provided me with (a happy, positive, funny, relaxing side to life) I feel like life can be worth it. The days when I can’t pull myself out of bed a tweet, video or Instagram post from Kath changes everything, she has changed everything. I’ve done things I’d never thought I’d have the courage to do – and would have never done without her. Ive started listening to tones of new, wild and wonderful musicals because of her. I’ve discovered a part of life I would have never wandered into without her. She is my utter inspiration in theatre and in life. She has essentially, in different ways, saved me from becoming someone I didn’t want to become. She has painted my life in colour and I couldn’t be happier.

There is so much more I could say, so much but I don’t want to ramble. All I want to say is this; People come and people go, it is only those who impact your life significantly that stick around, Katherine Steele is one of those fantastic people that I would be a totally different person without. Thank you for changing me, and my life for the better.

Katherine’s channel links:

YouTube channel

Second channel

Go check out this wonderful humans content, you won’t regret it as first, we will take over Broadway, and then the world……


Will this always be my dream? 

I remember back when I was about 6 my teacher asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of “mother” or “doctor” I can’t remember. When I hit the age of 11 my answer changed. This time it was a performer, someone onstage. Someone who sang their heart out, learnt all the lines they had to and danced till they could dance no more. When I turned 13 it changed again, a singer/songwriter and last year it was a author. But now, right this moment I would exchange anything to be cast in a west end or Broadway show. How did those feelings change you might ask? To tell you the truth I don’t know either. To be completely honest I’ve always wanted to be up on a stage giving it 110% but if that’s always possible is another question. If my life will turn that way, another question. I’m jealous of my friends who have the talent I feel like I’ll never be able to have and the opportunities they get. However my heart does a little flutter everytime something truly incredible comes my way. What I’ll be doing in 10, 20 or even 30 years time remains and still is a mystery to me. 

At the moment I’m working my butt off to write, write songs, books and of course, blog posts. You can’t achieve anything unless you put the work in. But finding time again is hard and that spark of passion I get from these things feels more like an ache. 

It’s got me thinking though. Do our end dreams change over time? Not the small ones like “it’s my dream to meet [insert name]” or “it’s my dream to travel the world” but the dreams that will make us cry after they’ve happened. The dreams that keep us passionate. The dreams that give us our personality and happiness, those dreams. Letting a dream go is like saying goodbye to a child going to university, it doesn’t feel right but it also feels more right than anything else in the world. I’d say let it go, see what happens. It might come running back 5 years later to give you a big hug, it might never be seen again, but a dream isn’t worth keeping if it’s getting to hard to look after and is giving you heart ache not heart warmth. But again don’t give yup on dreams if they are tough, what’s a dream worth having if there’s no suffering? 

Here is a list of a few of my dreams, big and small 

  • Seeing a Broadway show in NY 
  • Being cast in a professional show/musical 
  • To release an album or EP 
  • To write a book 
  • To get the highest grades I can in A levels and GCSEs 
  • To grow this blog to 500 followers 
  • To attend as many concerts and book signings as I can 

So there we go. Have you got dreams? Are they worth suffering for? Have they changed over the years? Let me know in the comments (: 

Emma Blackery – The musician who makes YouTube videos 

Hello everyone. Today I’m wanting to bring your attention to someone I’ve looked up to for nearly a whole year. Someone who has never failed to put a smile on my sad face, someone who has, well changed my life, for the better may I add. Her name is Emma, Emma Blackery (I kinda hoped you knew that as it is in the title of this post). Emma for me is like the sister I never truly had. She’s someone who can instantly brighten your day JUST from a video, song or even tweet. Those people are very hard to find and to find them is a miracle. Anyways enough with the rambling I want to explain to you why I love this fantastic person so much. 

Also please note that I was lucky enough to meet Emma and I did write a semi personal letter to her but there is so much I want to add to that and say to her if I had another opportunity to so this is 50% of why I wrote this……. 

So I’m going to start right back at the beginning when I first “found” Emma. It was late 2016 (October I’m pretty sure) and I was sat in my friends car driving home after spending the day together. She turned to me and said “Have you heard of Emma Blackery?” Of course not having a clue I said “Not really why” “oh just because she’s really funny and I’d think you’d like her music” And that’s where it started. I got home that evening, logged onto YouTube and put her name into the search bar. What came next I wasn’t prepared for. I was met with this gorgeous, honest and quite funny girl smiling at me talking about how someone had stolen her video. Id be lying if I said I didn’t fall in love with her and her personality straight away. That night I spent binge watching Emma’s entire channel hooked on what she had to say. Completely mesmerised by her honestly and maturity. In that one night I think I gained more knowledge than I would in an entire year at school. I then moved onto her music, and my God, my friend was not wrong when she said I’d like her music (well maybe slightly as I love it). Emma’s style in music for me is something completely and utterly unique. She has a talent I can only dream of having. So that’s how I came to find Emma, and man let me tell you how happy I am that I clicked that subscribe button almost a year ago

There are two times I distinctly remember that Emma helped me in one way or another. The first being to do with friends. I had recently told one of my “best friends” that I didn’t like the way our friendship was going. But I felt TERRIBLE after. I was going to give up to an extent, just give up. But I sat there, on my bed. Telling myself just to maybe watch one of Emma’s videos. “You never know it could cheer you up” I told myself. So I did. But the video I found….didn’t cheer me up but made me feel okay again. It was the “5 things you should hear video” and to anyone who’s watched that knows what I mean when I say it was just what I needed. I needed someone to tell me that what had happened wasn’t my fault. I’m not the one to blame. And most importantly “it’s going to be okay”. Again, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t spend the next ten minutes in utter silence thanking Emma for just being there for me even if she didn’t know it. Cheesy but true. 

The second time is slightly different and might I add dark? I was in a very bad place mentally and physically. I’d rather keep that private but just bare that in mind. I couldn’t sleep and just needed to get out of this slump for an exam I had the next day. I was alone, tired and sad, not a great combination. And I just sat there and then my phone buzzed letting me know I had a notification. It was from twitter. Emma had tweeted something that for the life of me I can’t remember now but I do remember it making me smile, laugh and again feel slightly better. After that I was able to sleep just from a simple tweet and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. For someone to have that sort of impact on your life is kinda incredible. 

Summer in the City and meeting Emma

So this summer I was lucky enough to attend summer in the City in the uk. And somehow found myself gaining a met and greet from Emma!! On the Saturday Emma performed as the headlining act for that evening. This is one of the many reasons I’m happy I went for the whole weekend. Emma’s stage presence is incredible. Throughout her performance I was laughing, smiling, dancing and screaming the lyrics at a level that was bound to damage my vocal chords. I was happy and I felt part of something for once. All the little stories she had about her songs and the tours she’d been on kept me glued to what she had to say. Not once did I think about opening up my phone and recording the performance as I just wanted to live in the moment. As well as the whole set up and just Emma being Emma her music is one I really enjoy and it sounds even better in concert!! 

So on Sunday I met Emma. After waiting in a two hour queue listening to her music it was my turn. In all honesty I was completely overwhelmed. I was standing about 3 meters (if that) from one of my idols/people I look up to (I hate the word idol). Anyways. I ran up to her and gave her a huge hug. (Her hugs are great for someone of her height (: aha joking). I gave her her letter and told her (vaguely) why she meant so much to me. I gained myself another hug and we grabbed a photo together before i gave her a ramble about how much the extracts from her new book (feelgood101 out now in Waterstones and any good book store) meant to me and how excited I was to read the whole thing and I remember her telling me to “keep writing” and Emma, I will I want to but I will I promise. 

Later on that evening me and my friends were screaming and smiling watching the summer in the City awards unfold. Then it came to the best song of the year award. We were all standing with anticipatio. I was secretly whispering “Emma Blackery, Emma Blackery” and at some point my chanting and the winner matched. I erupted into a mess of screaming, cheering, clapping and tears. I can promise you I wasn’t the only one crying. I was so proud of Emma as I knew she didn’t expect that. I don’t think any of us did. But she deserves it. Holy heck she does. Emma’s gone from something to everything and her music NEEDS to be appreciated. I’m so proud of Emma for that award so deserves it as I keep saying. It was crazy and knowing I’ve met her STILL blows my mind and I’m still overwhelmed. But I’m happy it happened and can’t wait to next time I’m able to see Emma again if that be in concert or at a meet and greet or just in the street. 


My friend took these photos of Emma’s performance for me

Reasons the world should and does love Emma 

There are a few things about Emma that I absolutely adore. I want to list a few but Emma overall is one of those people who never stop surprising you. Everyday is something new with Emma. One of the things I admire and wish I had was Emma’s honesty. She is so raw and brutal with what she says. There is no sugar coating it’s just plain fact or opinion. That honesty is something I wish I had and I’m working on. To go along with that honesty Emma is open. She’s factual about how she feels and if is feeling bad or down she may mention it but if she does is careful about how she does. She’s able to control what she knows is right and what isn’t. She puts what she’s learned into practice. She learns from her mistakes and makes sure she doesn’t repeat them. That is incredible I can only hope one day I can do that. She is also true to herself. She wants to write music, she writes it. She wants to put a video out she puts out what she wants to. She knows who she wants to be (or she appears to) that if anything is to admire about her. 

Speaking of music Emma has inspired me to write my own. I’ve never been a great music artist and I’ve found it hard to pinpoint one emotion and write about it but I’ve found motivation, inspiration and love for more music through Emma. Her music is so unique as I said and all the music she’s brought out I’ve fallen in love with over and over again. I don’t think I could ever pinpoint one one song I appreciate above the rest. They all tell their own story about Emma and with every song you learn a little more about Emma.. All of Emma’s music brings a smile to my fac,e and I couldn’t imagine not having them on my playlists. 

Her second channel (vloggery) is so calming and relaxing. It’s the part of Emma you never normally get to see from her on her main channel. Whoever I click on a new video of hers from that channel it provides me with more knowledge or inspiration on a new topic. It’s not full on or too intense it’s just her, just Emma no filter. It definitely feels like a one on one conversation on that channel. I could say the same for Emma’s live streams. Every Sunday (or just when she feels like it) Emma goes live and again it’s just her talking, nothing else, maybe talking about some new video or playing copyrighted music. They make me laugh, smile and feel warm inside. It instantly brightens my day and it agian feels like a one on one thing that is just between us. She’s also very honest In these live shows, if someone asks Hera pointless question she gives a valid response and I wish I had that in me to be able to do that. It is something I truly look up to her for. 

The advice Emma is able to give her audience on her personal experiences with life is something to admire. She is honest that school wasn’t the easiest, work isn’t all that it’s cut out to be and the people you fall in love with aren’t always who they say they are. Every single video or tweet or Instagram post she has made has some sort of experience of hers underneath its caption. People I know and have grown to love have also seen this. A lot of the advice Ive been able to give my friends is because of what Emma has said. Even if she doesn’t realise she has said it it’s proved a huge help in life to me. She knows what she is talking about and takes her own advice about having a break from the world and taking on your own passions. 

Another thing I love about Emma is her “fuck it” personality. If she thinks something isn’t right or she doesn’t want to do it, she won’t. That’s something I wish I had and I endlessly look up to. I’m working on trying to tell myself it’s okay to say no, it’s okay not to follow the crowd and I can imagine has taken Emma years to perfect but she’s done it. She’s also not scared to stand up for what she believes in. She has her own opinion on the world and it is her opinion. As well as that she only speaks her mind if she knows what is right, her opinions are complex and always have a reason behind them. It’s hard for people like me to speak our mind without being shot down and questioned for it. But I’m trying to learn that from her. 

Even if this is weird to like about Emma, her talking about North Korea I find incredibly interesting and I’ve only gained that passion for that from Emma, weird I know but I’ve discovered more and more about myself because of that. All the videos she’s made on NK have truly fascinated me. 

Emma’s book (feel good 101) 

I’ve sadly not got the full book just yet but i do have an extract that was given to me at sitc. I read it on the night before I met Emma and honestly, just from those few pages on a dead tree I felt something special. I felt happy, loved and like someone appreciated me. I fell in love with the extract and didn’t want to stop reading it. I knew I would love the entire book and Emma’s commitment to writing it is something truly incredible. Emma’s opinion changed on youtubers books and she ended up writing one, it just proves that any one can change if you give them the chance to. I can’t wait to read the whole thing but I know I’ll love it  

There is so much more I could tell you about this precious and inspirational human. I look up to her a lot, not just the good parts of Emma but the bad parts I know she’ll improve over time. Her music and writing is something that she should be proud of and her smile could brighten the world. Emma, if you’re reading this; this is only my story and how you’ve made my life a bit more bareabke but there are so many others that could say the same for your passions and beauty, millions even, and you should be proud of everything you’ve achieved so far and what you will go into in the following years. You’ve helped me become who I wanted to be and I couldn’t thank you more for that, thank you. Emma Louise Blackery x 


I want you to think for a second, to you what makes a friendship healthy and strong? Is it love? Passion? Memories? Loyalty? Well let me ask you this. Did the phrase “being there for me” or “someone who cares” pop into your head? My guess is it probably did, or it has. Today I want to talk about the pressure of being a good friend. In some friendships it might not be there at all which, is great! But it sometimes is. Now. Hold up, I’m not going to start rambling on about some girl called Katie who feels pressured into drinking. 1, this is not a learning for life lesson and 2, I don’t mean that sort of pressure. I’m talking about the pressure to be a good friend in a time of need. I’m talking about the unknown force that is telling you you aren’t helping said person when they most need you because your head is already so full you can’t hold anymore worry. 

I’m not going to lie I’m quite a custom to a friend feeling down. We live in a time where everything is whacked out and is way more stressful/hard to deal with than we as humans are able to deal with. I can add even myself to the list of people who find it hard to cope at times, along with my name is the rest of the universe. Even the happiest person ever has felt low, it’s fine, it’s normal. But again with the time we live in we have 24/7 access to our friends lives (no I’m not talking about sitting outside their house spying on them) I’m talking about social media. Everything we post, share, like, comment on can be seen by the world so it’s even easier to see your friends troubles. You’re not able to to just go home and forget you’re surrounded with this constant buzz. It’s worse, it’s worse it really is. I hope you’re still following but when I get an anxious friend sending me a dm or see a tweet from a sad friend I know it hurts because for me I’ve got so much going on already that trying to help them and telling the, you’re there for them is a lot harder than it looks. Once you tell them or send them that message that says “I’m here for you” you’re signing an invisible contract saying you are taking on their problems for yourself or at least it feels like it. 

I find myself so stuck in the fact that I must be there for my friends that I forget to think about how I really am. Not the “oh I’ve got maths homework due tomorrow” worry but the worry and the sadness I may still carry from other things. Recently something happened that really reminded me that mentally and emotionally I am not capable to look after every single one of my friends at one single time. It also taught me that I do have people there for me as well. I will be found. I need to talk to them when need as I am not taking what I’m giving. It’s like giving the shop your money and leaving your purchases on the till. I feel like I need to remember to take my stuff with me. I hope that made SOME logical sense. 

So we need to remember to be there for our friends of course, but most importantly we need to be there for ourselves and make sure we’re okay before anyone else. The pressure of being selfless is something that shouldn’t exist, but it does and we have to fight it. Be your own friend don’t rely on friends to make you happy, only you can truly do that and it takes time. Something I’ve learned is that I can take time for myself, it’s not selfish, it’s self care, there’s a difference. 

New school year resolutions 

Hello my pals (sorry it just came out) the day I’m putting this post up is the day before I go back to school. Scary I know. I’m going to start my GCSEs and I’m actually really excited. I know I will regret saying that in just under a week but for now let me live okay? But anyways with a ‘new’ school and teachers I feel like it’s time to “change”. Yes you can change any day you want to but the first day of the school year is a good place I feel like. So today I want to share with you what I’m planning to “change” about myself to make me love myself just a little more 

Close up a little: To me and maybe the rest of the world I’m quite…. lets say…… open person. I share (what I feeel like) a little too much online and in real life. People tend to use that against me and in my opinion it also makes me look a little attention seeking. As weird as it is it also causes me a little worry at the aspect of someone knowing a little more than i wanted them to. I’ve learnt my lesson. Don’t up to people unless you fully 100% trust them. 

Do the homework as soon as you get it: If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you might know I tend to procrastinate a lot. I mean a lot. And I also seem to get a lot of stress over homework. So to decrease that I really want to try and get homework out the way asap so then I have more time to focus on my mental health and not just lay it all down to stress. On my walk back from school there’s a library I’m thinking of going into after school to 1) relax after spending 7 hours with people (99% of whom I don’t get along with) and just having some me time 2) to get homework done from that day done. Obviously there will be certain pieces that need more than a twenty minute scribble but for the majority I’ll hopefully be able to get it done without any distractions so when I do get home I can just relax, chill and not think about school until tomorrow 

To just “shrug” people off: I’m not naming anyone but I left the last school year not in the best state. There were and still are friendships that aren’t clear as water in my opinion. When I told Emma (Yes Emma Blackery) how I felt she said I need to be stubborn with people (at least I think that’s what she said) and she’s also mentioned just shrugging people off before. Not letting mean/unpleasant things get to you. And I know I can be a b*tch at times but I really just want to try and NOT let it get to me so I can focus on those who do love me and like me for me 

To ask more questions and become interested in more things: this fits into the same category to be honest. I want to become more “complex” I want to become more interested in different things. Listen to more musicals and artists, read more books from different authors, watch more youtubers etc etc. Yes I want to practice what I’m already good at but I want to add to that list with new things. Broaden my range so I seem more “interesting” and I also get more inspiration for the books I write and songs I produce. If I’m able to do that I can hopefully become a better musician and writer. But again in class I’d like to ask more whys and how’s. I’m taking history and I’m so excited to start it as I’m a real history nerd (there’s nothing wrong with it btw) and it fascinates me endlessly and if I ask more I know more right? 

Go speak up or write down if I don’t feel great: I’d like to start a dairy again. I’ve tried to keep one this summer (yes I’ve missed like nearly a week now but shhhhhh no one will know) but I would like to try and keep one so I don’t feel like I’m going to explode 24/7! At the time of writing this I’m happy, I’m content and relaxed. It’s good but I don’t think that will last once I go back and I want to save myself this year so either speaking to a wise friend or teacher or just writing how I feel down would benefit me more than it being stuck in my head I think. 

So that’s just a few! There probably are more but these are the main ones. Do you have any new school year resolutions? Do you think you’ll keep them? And if not why? Let me know in the comments!! Ttyl x


Humans are complex 

When you are a child you haven’t got to worry about much except what you’re wearing to that fancy dress party or what toy to take in the car with you. Life seems, simple in a way. Not much to it. As you slowly get older new problems are added to the mix and more responsibly. But this is what makes us complex. 

Have you ever heard people say “it’s complicated” my guess is you probably have. It’s quite a good yet annoying saying. On one side it’s annoying as hell when you want to know something but on the other it just explains the whole situation in only a few words. Sometimes in life things are way to hard to even talk about and the only way to tell someone about it is to say “it’s complicated”. 

As we get older things block our way and I’ve recently realised this. Things never have the “wrong” or “right” way anymore there’s the “possibly might be right but would hurt others” and the “sure it’s easy but it won’t get you anywheee” and many more. It’s hard to tell which way is better. Especially on there own. 

I think another aspect is that more problems happen at once. You never really have time without anything I’m your head just everything happening at once. I feel sometimes like my brain might actually explode from the amount of thoughts passing through. And I’m scared that  that brain might explode at any moment and I won’t be prepared. If you know what I mean please tell me. Do you feel a similar way? Do you think humans are all complex or are there a few who have it easy? Let me know in the comments 

I also thought I’d add some photos that I’ve acquired. Hope you like them. 

Response to over sharing online 

This post is a response to Dodie Clarks video with Hazel Hayes about oversharing online (I’m also adding on to the points made)

I get what dodie means by saying that oversharing has its good and bads. For those unaware I have an Instagram fandom account that actually has a decent amount of followers on and I’m also following over 5 thousand people so I see a lot of what people post and from what I’ve seen a lot of the people I see aren’t always in the best of places (and neither am I at times) and sadly a lot of what I see is people sharing their emotions online. It sucks but I can also see why they do it. A lot of people don’t have a fully supporting life in the ‘real’ world and online is their chance to escape. They can say pretty much whatever they are feeling and won’t be judged for it. They can also get help from friends and others if they wish. For them it’s better than keeping it locked up. I’ve been on probably both ends of this situation. The one in need of help and the one looking and reading the post. So I know how easy it can be to pick up your phone, log onto a social media site and start ranting about how you feel at your absolute lows. 

I think the reason people do do this is to feel wanted and that they have a support system if need be. And I’ve also noticed people can be very explicit in what they are feeling. With friends a lot of the time I’ll be texting/messaging them and then I’ll check their account or story and see that they’re in a complete melt down. And it’ll go through my mind “why the hell haven’t they brought this up?” This is where I agree with what Hazel was saying by it hurts to know one of your best friends is suffering in the room next to you and they went to bed fine. It’s obviously a little different but it’s the same message. I feel like a completely failed friend when that happens and like I haven’t done enough to help them. But that can also bring you down. You feel uneasy and that there is nothing you can truly do to stop them feeling that bad. It’s sucks. But I know it helps them and if they wanted my help sure,y they would ask. 

When I’ve spoken about how I’ve felt I’ve sometimes got a few people telling me they know how I feel and that what I’m feeling is okay. It does help as bad as I am at telling them. But when it’s me. In the heat of the moment I will pick up my phone and start sharing because that’s the way I’ve learnt to cope with everything. That’s how I’ve learnt to deal with what’s going on but I also know how damaging it is to me and others around and following me. I try and see myself as a honest but positive person . So sharing about what’s going on in my head is the worst of the worst. Especially in the moment. I tend to wake up the next morning and look at the messages I’ve collected from worried or anxious people and read what I wrote and think “what the hell was I going on about”. But I’ve also realised I share way too much with friends that I shouldn’t and I’m not sharing enough with the friends who can actually do something for me. 

I think I’ve really got to stop oversharing online when I’m at my worst and see how I feel in the morning before jumping into panic mode. Things do look better after you sleep they really do. So that’s my tip for you. I’ll also link dodies video if you feel like watching it. But quick message to dodie: 

Share as much as you think is healthy but helpful. Like a salad almost with salt. Enough for flavour but not too much so it becomes disgusting. I personally am okay with what you share. I do worry about you but I’ve seen you get through a lot so I  know you’ll be able to get through it and you do have a friend group that will help you. If you want to share online then do it. It does help me and so many others and I know some people can’t look at the stuff you post but again it’s up to you. Love you (: 

So what do you think about the whole situation? Do you over share online too much? Do you see others doing it? Do you think it’s healthy? Ttyl my krazies 

Dodie and Hazels video on the issue:

Summer in the City 2017 

Screams, lights, hugs, tears, lines, wristbands, music, photos and more. This summer I was lucky enough to go to the biggest YouTube event in the UK called Summer in the City (also known as sitc). And it was the best weekend of my life! I was debating whether or not to make this post as it is quite personal and a lot of emotion will be brought back by writing it but I know how much I like to re read my blog posts and I know this is one I can’t wait to read. But I will say this I won’t be able to post photos on here of me meeting youtubers as I’m in them and as this is a anonymous blog that won’t be happening so you just have to trust me that I met them!! Let’s get started then!!!


So on Saturday morning we got up around 7am and got ready to leave. In all honesty I didn’t eat much as I was filled with so much excitement! But with a quick car journey we jumped on the train and headed to London! It was a beautiful day and whilst in the train me and my friend Erin who I was going with listened to dear Evan Hansen (if you saw my last post you know how obsessed I am with that musical). And after getting off on the wrong side of the river we made it to the excel! 

We pretty much got our wristband for the weekend right away but ended up queuing a bit longer (about half an hour) for our wristbands for meet and greets. But pretty much as soon as we got them we were in!! We got into the main expo hall as SOON as it opened. I wish I’d taken pictures but everyone held up their wrists and there was a lot of screaming but it was incredible. When me and Erin got in we did a few laps of the place then met up with one of the many internet friends I was meeting Penny It was amazing to see her and I’m so happy I got to meet her. We caught up for a bit and then Erin and I had to run off to our first meet and greet of the day which was Dodie Clark!! 

When we got through the bag check we headed straight for dodies lane. Whilst stood in the two hour long queue waiting to meet her we meet three really lovely girls (I hope they don’t mind me mentioning their names) called Izzy, Abi and Jade. We ended up talking throughout the queue and I really hope we can meet again as they were super sweet. I went through a lot of feelings and emotions during that queue. Excitement, nerves, tears, happiness and love. But after a while it was time. 

A lot of when I met dodie was a blur as it was a long time ago but I’ll try describe it the best I can. So I walked up to her in tears and she kind of galloped towards me and gave me a huge hug. I gave her her letter and let her sign something for me and we got a lot of hugs and photos and then I told her how much I loved her and how amazing she was and that was it. I’m so happy I got to meet her. She’s a lot like she is in her videos, her voice, body and height. But she was super nice and kind and very very beautiful. I’m so lucky and happy I got to meet her. All I really remember is how I was in tears when she asked for my name and she was slightly laughing and asking if I was okay. But again it was amazing to meet her. 

Then we said goodbye to Jade, Izzy and Abi and still slightly shaking but also very happy headed over to Evans meet and greet which was underway. Because we arrived mid meet and greet (it was around half two) we weren’t waiting too long but none the less we made a friend Called Elise. She was so nice and we talked until it was our turn to meet Evan. I think looking back on it Evan was my favourite in some ways. I ran to him and gave him a hug and asked him how his day was going and gave him my letter I wrote him and then told him about my home life and how he made me feel not so alone and I broke down I won’t lie. But he said “hey hey it’s okay” and hugged me like I was his best friend and honestly it was amazing. We took a few photos together and he mentioned dear Evan Hansen but over all it was my favourite meet and greet. 

Then me, Erin and Elise met back up with Penny  and grabbed a bite to eat at costa before we had to head back over to the meet and greet area for Gary Cs meet and greet. This is where it went a little down hill though. Whilst stood in the queue waiting for Gary I dropped my phone and then the touch screen stopped working. But none the less it didn’t stop me giving him a huge hug and taking some cute photos. I also forgot to mention that we are in Gary’s new vlog which is pretty cool. It was nice chatting to Gary he was really sweet and seemed really interested in what we had to say. After that I was still shaken up about my phone and overwhelmed with nerves for the open mic so we found my friend Honor and headed back over to costa before open mic. 

On the way too open mic we saw Connie a.k.a Noodarella. I’ve been also watching Connie for around a year now so to meet her was super nice and again she’s super sweet and I look up to her a lot. We grabbed a photo and she signed my notebook and gave me a free extract from her new book. I have t read it yet but I’m sure it’s amazing!! Then open mic!!

Open mic went pretty well I didn’t mess up too much and after that we heard over to the main stage to wait for Emma’s performance. In all honesty Emma’s set came and went. It was definitely my favourite out of her and dodie though. I could jump and sing along to Emma and she had some pretty funny stories to tell as well and just such a great person so it was so nice to see her. But then Erin and I headed back on the train with her mum and spilled everything about the incredible day we had had and how excited we were for the following day. I got home and crashed as soon as I got in. I was exhausted from all the queuing and screaming but was happy. 


So on Sunday it was my mums turn to take us. We jumped in the car around 8am on the way to London. I managed to write more on Emma’s letter and read her extracts I had been given the day prior. I honestly can’t wait for her book as it looks and is very amazing and funny. I was super excited although tired for the day ahead. Once we were at the excel we left my mum and headed in to get our meet a greet wristbands. As we got there super early we didn’t have to queue for them and pretty much got in straight away. We started walking down to costa after that so we could finish letters and grab a drink because we were so early to the event. But below and behold my small northern internet friend Alex comes running up to me. I’ve been friends with said person and her best friend Lara for a year now and oh wow was it amazing to see them. They were as small as predicted but so sweet. I gave them there letters and then for the second time we headed in to the event! We spent the first 15 minutes walking around together us three (Me, Lara and Alex) as Erin went off to give someone something for a friend. Then Lara and Alex ran off to the toilet and we met up with my friend Amber (she also have a blog that I’ll link below) because we wanted to do sincerely me from dear Evan Hansen at the open mic. We met up, signed up, and practiced. But then again we had to say goodbye and me and Erin had to queue up for Luke cutforths meet up. 

Once again when we got in we queued up. This time we didn’t end up making any friends in the queue. My friend finished her letter for Luke and we both listened to Dear Evan Hansen. But we did see my friends Kelli and Hannah in the queue and even though it was brief we did say hi and exchange letters. We spent about an hour and a half In Luke’s queue and then I got to meet him! 

Luke’s hugs are one of the best things on this planet BY FAR! Ran up to him (again) in tears and he basically picked me up. He is really strong and sorry Luke ahah. Once we hugged I gave him his letter (which he started reading out loud bare in mind and my handwriting is terrible so yeah that was embarrassing) but he read it and then hugged me again due to the contents of the letter. I rambled a bit about how much he made me smile and laugh and asked him to sign my book and we took some very sweet and cute photos and selfies (I actually love them that much that I have one of them on my lockscreen and all profile photos (pretty much) after Luke me and Erin found Amber and we headed over to costa. 

We had a really nice chat and found Erin’s internet friend  and headed over to the women who write panel in the main stage. We caught the end of it but sadly I had to head off again for Emma Blackerys meet and greet. It took a lot longer that expected to get through but none the less I got through and once in the queue listened to Dear Evan Hansen ahah no surprise. Along with meeting Evan Emma was one of my favourites. In the line I realised how much she had actually helped me and showed me so yeah tears happened. When I got to Emma I was a mess and when I ran and gave her a hug I can remember her saying “I love it when people run and then hug” I feel like maybe flattened her but I was still in shock. I gave her her letter and then explained myself and why I loved her and she said that I just needed to be stubborn with people and gave me a huge hug. She signed my notebook and we got a lot of photos and then I said about writing my own stuff because of her and she said “keep writing” and I will Emma I will. But again she was super nice and kind and I really want to meet her again. 

Still shaking I went off to find the others and I was very lucky I found them when I did as when I walked over to them they were stood with Hedy, Dodies sister having a conversation. I love Hedy and her art so much she’s so kind and just like any other person. We actually had a really cool conversation with her which was really nice and took a few photos and headed off in our little group. We went over to Dodies merch line hoping to meet her but whilst in that line I caught my eye on a Lucy moon. I love Lucy so much as she’s so honest and pure and also loves history. So as you do I ran over to her, got her to sign my notebook and got a photo with her. But after that we all headed off to the open mic as Josh (dodies manger) was showing something for dodies new EP “You” (the day I’m writing this it actually has come out and it’s amazing go listen to it). But when we got there we weren’t able to perform as Josh took up our slot. BUT we were able to meet him and I got a really snazzy photo with him and he signed my book aha. 

After that we headed over to the main stage to try and get a good spot for Dodies set  and the sitc awards which were coming later in the evening. 

When we got there we got there just in time for the summer in the City awards which were funny, cute, emotional and amazing. I think my favourite part of that was Emma. This is why I feel so lucky to have met her in all honesty. She won best song of the year award and she had no idea so came on crying her eyes out which is the cutest thing ever as she so bloody deserves the award she got by far! I’m so happy she won. 

Whilst there though we listened to a Q&A that Ricky Dillon and TheGabbieShow did. It was actually pretty funny and cool. We also heard this musician called Thalia Mar perform (?) I actually really liked her so when I’m able to I’m going to look her up. Then I was able to meet up with the last internet friend Kristyn! Kristyn was one of my first internet friends so it was so amazing to meet her and she’s so beautiful!!! But then I t was time for Dodie!!!!

It was incredibly loud with screams and music. But amazing. Dodie played some of her most amazing songs including the ones on her new EP. The only down side is it wasn’t very jump around sort of music. But it was fab!!! And if you ever get to see Dodie live go!!!! At the end of “would you be so kind” her final song everyone from sitc came on and omg it was freaking amazing. Words can’t describe how surreal it was. It felt so validating in my opinion. 

And that was pretty much it. 

I’m so lucky to have been able to go and I really want to go again. Maybe next year or the year after but it is definitely something I won’t forget in a hurry. Thank you to all the people that I got to meet or meet up with. Thank you to the organisers and Tom Burns once again you’ve done a fab job and I’m so proud. See ya again soon sitc!!!

My question for you today is; do you want to go to summer in the City? If you have who did you see and did you enjoy it? Are you planning to go next year? Well ttyl my krazies!! 

KK x 

Ambers Blog:

Thank you to all my friends as well: Amber, Honor, Erin, Alex, Lara, Penny, Jade, Elise, Izzy, Abi, Kelli, Hannah, Kristyn love you all loads! 

Why I’m changing and I’m happy about that 

Yeah bulky title I am aware…… 

So today me KK comes at you with a more personal post. And no surprise I am changing, we all do but sometimes we’re happy about that and sometimes no. Well this is a happy change. I’m not sure if it’s because of the music I’m listening to is changing or from personal experiences. But either way I am. Let me explain!! 

For one I’m trusting less people but trusting those I know I can more. You’d be surprised about how much people lie or keep things from you to make their world a little lighter. If people lie it’s fine. As long as your only motive isn’t in your favour. I am still uncertain about how I feel about certain people but I’m happy that I can finally realise that you don’t spill everything to one person and expect them to keep that. But I’m also telling those I love and know I can trust about how I feel and it’s helping. 

Secondly I’m writing more and trying to actually write things down instead of keeping them in my head. I’m putting them into my writing or into a song or diary. I’m thankful I’ve been given this creative spark that seems to light in the most weirdest of ways. I love getting an idea in the middle of the street or while eating lunch. If you have creativity as a gift use it because people love that in a person. 

I’m also starting to realise that I don’t need to be in love to be happy. I don’t like anyone st this moment in time and I’m happy about that because it means I can focus on friends and myself. Yes I’d like to have someone I genuinely feel in love with but I know it’s not everything. I’ve got a very important part of my life ahead of me and I know and realise that I don’t need to be sorting out relationship issues while trying to work out who invented the microwave. Not being in love with someone doesn’t make you any different from someone who is. It normally means that you are strong, brave, independent and not settling for what you can find. You are pretty and worthy. I’d much rather work on my grades now and love later when I’m in a good job with good pay. I feel that when people realise this they realise a bit more of themself. 

Have you noticed that you’vechanged? Is it a good change to bad one? Let me know in the comments 

There are a few more smaller things that I’ve realised about myself but these are the main ones. I hope you’re all having a great summer x 

catch y’all later 

KK x 

Germany and DEH 🇩🇪🎶

So in the past two weeks I’ve gone to Germany! I went on a German exchange. So I stayed with a family and went around Germany which was great! I’m going to explain each day and put some photos with it! 


So Monday we left for the airport. It went pretty well. I went to my first two classes and then we jumped on the coach. It was pretty good until my friend forgot what a passport looked like. But Monday was more traveling and sleeping than excitement but me and my friend took some photos on the plane so here you go 


So on Tuesday we went into Bonn and did some shopping. It was more a day of getting used to being in a German family life but me and my friends had a great time with a German waiter and we also got to see the mayor of Bonn which was cool even if he did speak in just German 


So not much happened on Wednesday 4 of us went into an English class but they weren’t doing much so we sat at the computers and watched YouTube for 2 hours . And then we did this team building race but it was raining so wasn’t that fun. And then a group of us went bowling (I won the first game oi oi ) 


On Thursday we went into Köln and into a sports museum which was pretty cool to be honest. But then I came home and slept I was really tired to be honest 


On Friday we went back into köln and went to this not very interesting tour of köln. We also got a bit of shopping time so me and my friends had a bite to eat then did a bit of shopping for friends. I had a great laugh . 


On Saturday we went to a museum and to Beatovens house which was really interesting. But I was really tired from trying to speak and learn German. 


We went to this roman thing as köln was ruled by the romans at one point. It was cloudy for most of the day though 

Monday : 

We again went into köln. And did a bit more shopping and site seeing. But it was a really nice day. We also went to a German TV studios 

Tuesday : 

On Tuesday we went to a museum in Bonn and did a few lessons in school which was pretty cool.


On Wednesday we went into this village and did some shopping and went on a cable car which was pretty cool and fun . The view was amazing and it was really hot as well 

Thursday : 

So we came home on Thursday which was sad but also nice to get home . I had a great flight listening to music and talking to friends. I really enjoyed Germany it gave me a great chance to talk in a different language and to see a country I’d never been to before. I felt so lucky and honoured to get a chance to do something like that. I would highly recommend going on a foreign exchange if you ever get the chance to. 

Dear Evan Hansen: 

So recently I’ve discovered the musical Dear Evan Hansen. I honestly wish I’d heard of it sooner. For the unaware Dear Evan Hansen is about a boy called Evan who’s trying to deal with social anxiety and the death of his classmate Connor Murphy. That’s what it’s about (in short) sadly as I don’t live in NY I haven’t had the opportunity to see it on boardway. But the soundtrack is what has made it so special to me. Ben Platt plays Evan SO well and his voice is incredible (they all are) and I feel like everyone will relate to that musical in one way or another. The songs have so much meaning and the emotion is indescribable. I’ll link Evan Edingers video he recently made on the musical, then you can make up your mind if it sounds like something you’d want to listen to. If you have please give me your opinions on it. What did you think of it and what’s your favourite song? Mine is maybe “you will be found” but they’re all incredible. 
Anyways! Sorry an update has been long awaited I’ve had a lot of exams but now I’m off for summer there should be more posts! (One a week a maybe but don’t hold me to that) catch y’all later x KK 

Evan Edingers video about DEH: