I remember back when I was about 6 my teacher asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of “mother” or “doctor” I can’t remember. When I hit the age of 11 my answer changed. This time it was a performer, someone onstage. Someone who sang their heart out, learnt all the lines they had to and danced till they could dance no more. When I turned 13 it changed again, a singer/songwriter and last year it was a author. But now, right this moment I would exchange anything to be cast in a west end or Broadway show. How did those feelings change you might ask? To tell you the truth I don’t know either. To be completely honest I’ve always wanted to be up on a stage giving it 110% but if that’s always possible is another question. If my life will turn that way, another question. I’m jealous of my friends who have the talent I feel like I’ll never be able to have and the opportunities they get. However my heart does a little flutter everytime something truly incredible comes my way. What I’ll be doing in 10, 20 or even 30 years time remains and still is a mystery to me.
At the moment I’m working my butt off to write, write songs, books and of course, blog posts. You can’t achieve anything unless you put the work in. But finding time again is hard and that spark of passion I get from these things feels more like an ache.
It’s got me thinking though. Do our end dreams change over time? Not the small ones like “it’s my dream to meet [insert name]” or “it’s my dream to travel the world” but the dreams that will make us cry after they’ve happened. The dreams that keep us passionate. The dreams that give us our personality and happiness, those dreams. Letting a dream go is like saying goodbye to a child going to university, it doesn’t feel right but it also feels more right than anything else in the world. I’d say let it go, see what happens. It might come running back 5 years later to give you a big hug, it might never be seen again, but a dream isn’t worth keeping if it’s getting to hard to look after and is giving you heart ache not heart warmth. But again don’t give yup on dreams if they are tough, what’s a dream worth having if there’s no suffering?
Here is a list of a few of my dreams, big and small
- Seeing a Broadway show in NY
- Being cast in a professional show/musical
- To release an album or EP
- To write a book
- To get the highest grades I can in A levels and GCSEs
- To grow this blog to 500 followers
- To attend as many concerts and book signings as I can
So there we go. Have you got dreams? Are they worth suffering for? Have they changed over the years? Let me know in the comments (: