Here’s to the good days

Here’s to the good days

The days when laughing is easy and smiles come and go without a thought

To the moments when the grey blanket lifts from the world and everything is suddenly painted in an array of vibrant and mesmerising colours.

Breathing is manageable and your body floats along the path

Here’s to remembering the good fragments and tossing away the bad

When the creative side of your mind sets to work on a blank canvas

When everything is still

silent

serene

When happy moments turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours and hours into days

To the times your dreams and hopes seem possible – make you unstoppable

To the times to capture,

observe,

remember the world around you

When happy feels happy, excitement feels like excitement and adventure feels like adventure

When numb and confused aren’t emotions

minds stop worrying and focus on the art before you

To the seconds of rarity that appear at the touch of a finger

To the days that make you feel good

great

amazing

W O N D E R F U L

Everything is calm, clear, carefree

These are the moments of hope, lust, desire and dreams

These are the moments of kindness, love and compassion

I live for that

I live for it all

Here’s to those days

The days when everything

is right

is fine

is good

To those days

the good ones

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Taking a step back from life

Ever find yourself trapped in a ball that we call life? Ever wondered how you’ll ever get out of that suffocating space? Ever wished life would slow down for just one minute? Because I have.

When we find ourselves collapsing under the pressure of life it takes a toll on our physical and mental wellbeing. But remembering that we can escape that feeling and feeling that way doesn’t last forever is something to hold onto.

I’m currently writing this under the dim light of my fairy lights while sipping a a hot chocolate and listening to some acoustic music, but I’ve been thinking, a lot. I think delving into our feelings is the most comforting thing you could experience. Of course there are certain times when thinking too much results in anger, upset and embarrassment but most of the time, it’s good.

Recently I’ve come across a hurdle in my ‘life journey’ – a decision. One that, in all honesty, I never thought I’d find myself making or even having to contemplate. However, here we are.

I feel like going into detail wouldn’t be ideal. However to cut it short, I’m leaving the place I’ve called home in over 12 years. That’s more scary than I can ever put into words but nonetheless, I’m proud that I had the courage to make such a (in my opinion) life changing choice, whether to stay or not.

It’s scary to leave somewhere you would consider a second home. Everything you find familiar is suddenly gone, but like in a normal home, you’re bound to leave at some point. I guess I didn’t realise it would come so quickly though. That’s where my sadness lies.

it was hard, to say the least, but it was worth it. I feel in control of my life and the things I choose to pursue. Many tears were caught and many times I felt my heart yearn for more laughter and happiness to be spent there, but deep down I knew that wouldn’t be so. But sometimes the easiest choice isn’t always the right one. In the end, I made a decision that I know will hurt but eventually allow me to take on life a little more and push myself to chase my dreams.

Sometimes I’m able to catch myself in the act of worrying, I’m a worrier if you haven’t already gathered. I catch myself thinking two or three hours into the future and not what I’m seeing with my own eyes. However I know that I’m my most present on stage. I can take in the lights, the smells, the sounds and recognise them. I feel happy and content up there. When life hits a hard point or turn I rely on the hot lights and loud music to keep me sane, which we all need at times, if that be a hobby, friend or passion. We need that thing to drag us out of that suffocating space.

A few tips to keep you from that overwhelming space

  • Take a long walk – it’s incredible how much nature and just wondering with your thoughts and greenery can calm your mood down. Disconnect from the busy world
  • If you feel yourself slipping back into being overwhelmed focus on what you’re doing then. Tell your brain you’re doing this and only this right now. Let your mind focus
  • Forget social media for a while. Maybe distract yourself. Read, go see a friend or clean your room. Of course if you’re not used to this (like me) then start small, an hour, then two hours, and so on until you feel refreshed
  • Make lists!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes feeling overwhelmed is just not knowing how much or how little you have to do. So sit down and write it all out.
  • Self care! I know this is a little obvious but just taking a few minutes for yourself can really help. If that means tracking your water intake or making plans to get out the house every so often. It works, trust me!

Sorry this blog post has been a little shambles. I wanted to get something out there thanks to all the lovely new followers I seem to have acquired ❤️ thank you all!! I’ll see you all next time ☺️

First we take over Broadway, and then the world

Hello all! So today I want to tell you about someone incredibly wonderful that I’ve come to admire over the last few months. This person has made my world so much brighter and filled it with endless streams of colour. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be who I am today without her. It’s crazy, to think that someone can have such an impact on your life. But it’s possible and those people are one in a million, they are special, unique and so beautiful. This post is dedicated to the one and only, Katherine Steele.

For those of you who don’t know who Kath is I highly recommend you check out her YouTube channel. I 100% promise you you’ll come away from just one video smiling. Katherine is a (talented) performer who just so happens to share her advice on everything theatre related online. She has created a loving family – the Theatre Thursday Fam. As well as geeking out about everything Broadway. She is the definition of the sunshine.

In the beginning

So I’ll set the scene for you. Its August 18th, and I receive a text from a friend of mine. She’s sent me a link to a YouTube video. I see it’s about Ben Platt. At the time I was obsessed with Ben so of course, I watched the video. Even though the video was about a serious topic I was still captivated by Kath’s charisma and positivity. The way I’d describe a Kath Steele video is like walking into a heated home after a long day out in the cold. So after seeing that first video I inevitably watched another, and then another. As expected I spent the next few days watching every video I could find of Katherine’s. It’s now hard for me to imagine a time when I didn’t know of this absolutely incredible person.

Unique Katherine

There are so many things about Kath that are so beautifully unique to her and her channel(s). Just to name a few, dramatic zooms, the family she has created and the ever so amazing dream casts for certain shows. I’ve picked up a few in the 7 or so months I’ve known Kath so here are a few things I’ve picked up about her!

Her vlogs! Sometimes Kat uploads a vlog of a show she’s going to see or, my personal favourite, the time she went to New York. They’re so interesting and I love hearing her opinion on the shows she gets to see. As well as finding out how similar (or different) theatre is in the US compared to the UK (where I’m from).

#TheatreThursday! It’s become a tradition for Kath to upload a video every Thursday that is theatre related and it utterly makes my day. I find Thursdays really tedious (I don’t know why I’m just not a fan of the day). However knowing that Katherine’s going to post a video completely makes my day and puts a smile on my face. It’s such a genius idea to create such a memorable series.

Katherine also has some really unique video ideas that I’ve never really seen before including ‘Broadway bite’, dream cast lists, character tutorials (where she does a makeup tutorial and talks through the character- super interesting!), and her ‘show mishaps’ series. I’ve never really seen this sort of creativity used on YouTube so it always excites me seeing these sort of videos appearing in my sub box!!

Over the last couple of months I’ve 100% been able to pick up how supportive Kat is of her fans. She’s constantly liking, replying and commenting on posts and replying to questions any of the Theatre Thursday Fam might have. It genuinely feels like a family that you can be yourself in, so I am grateful for Kath creating such a loving, funny and passionate family that is so beautiful.

Along with that last point Kath is selfless, she puts others before herself because she cares so much for the people around her, which just makes her even more of an incredible human. She tries to help people as much as she can which is so admirable. I aspire to be just as caring as she is one day.

Kath is incredibly welcoming to new members of the TTF. I remember when I joined the Theatre Thursday Family, I felt so included and like I was truly part of a family. There is no judgement from her or the people who follow her which again, is just truly wonderful!!

Kath also has a great fashion style (I’ll put some photos of her awesome outfits) but I’ve somehow found myself wearing more and more denim jackets the last few months….

Friends & advice

Thanks to Kat I’ve also discovered the theatre community and I’ve made so many incredible and supportive friends. It’s amazing to hear about what theatre is like all over the world and suppressing each other in our theatre journey’s. As well as finding people that also like Kath and her content. It’s so lovely to discuss videos uploaded and our opinions on them. I remember when Kath uploaded the video on ‘showmances’ the whole of a theatre group chat I’m in on twitter were talking about our experiences with it and it was super insightful. I’m so grateful for Katherine uploading videos that spark a discussion between friends.

Kath also gives some amazing advice. The tips she gives are so genuine and work so well. As it’s coming from someone who has experienced so much theatre it makes it even more helpful. Katherine has a video on pretty much anything you can think of to do with theatre. I’ve used so much of her advice and it’s always worked out better than I thought it ever could. I’ve also passed on so much of Kats advice to friends as well – which has worked wonders for them. She definitely knows what she is talking about and has shed so much light onto topics that didn’t even cross my mind before.

Inspirational Katherine

If anything, Kath has taught me how to be who I want to be. That my dreams are possible and life will always find a way to work out. She has shown me how to go out, smile and actually mean it. Every video she has posted has made me even more eager to pursue my dreams. When I first started watching Katherine’s channel I never thought I could actually have performing as a career. I never thought I was talented enough, worthy enough or even willing enough to take theatre further than a hobby. However over the several months I’ve known this magical and inspirational woman I’ve come to realise just how much my passion and heart lie on stage. Yes, there’s been a few bumps in the road but I’ve got past them, with her help, and become a stronger performer because of it. Everyday Katherine inspires me for reasons I’ll never be able to explain. For someone to brighten your day that you’ve never even met takes a special and wonderful soul. – I hope to have that one day, to live a life I am in control of.

To go along with that I can’t wait to see where Kath goes, I’ve said this to so many of my friends but she’s Broadway material, and more than deserving of a Tony. From the little snippets of singing I’ve heard, Kath has a beautiful voice and talent that is something to be proud of. I really couldn’t be prouder of how far Kath has come. If she’s not on some Broadway stage in the next year I’ll be shocked.

To conclude……

I may have only known Kath for a few months yet I feel like I’ve known her for forever. The things I’ve learnt from her in this short space of time I know I’ll carry with me until I die. It’s not Just in theatre but in life. I’ve been struggling to see just how bright life can be and wanting to give up entirely at certain points but, because of what Kath has provided me with (a happy, positive, funny, relaxing side to life) I feel like life can be worth it. The days when I can’t pull myself out of bed a tweet, video or Instagram post from Kath changes everything, she has changed everything. I’ve done things I’d never thought I’d have the courage to do – and would have never done without her. Ive started listening to tones of new, wild and wonderful musicals because of her. I’ve discovered a part of life I would have never wandered into without her. She is my utter inspiration in theatre and in life. She has essentially, in different ways, saved me from becoming someone I didn’t want to become. She has painted my life in colour and I couldn’t be happier.

There is so much more I could say, so much but I don’t want to ramble. All I want to say is this; People come and people go, it is only those who impact your life significantly that stick around, Katherine Steele is one of those fantastic people that I would be a totally different person without. Thank you for changing me, and my life for the better.

Katherine’s channel links:

YouTube channel

Second channel

Go check out this wonderful humans content, you won’t regret it as first, we will take over Broadway, and then the world……

2018 resolutions

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and new year and are ready for another year of my ranting and obsessions! (Yeah that’s not going away sorry lads) As I have for nearly every year now I have set myself resolutions. However this year is slightly different. I want this to be the year of growth and slowing down. Taking time to appreciate every single day I have. Last year I felt as though I sped through not really looking in the other direction I also learnt some lessons the hard way and it made me grow as a person. So I want to continue that. Become a better and more independent person every day. So here are the resolutions I’ve set myself for 2018!!

Talking to a friend privately if I don’t feel 100% – not oversharing online: This is quite a big one for me as last year I was very quick to post online if I wasn’t having a great day and it led to a lot of lost friendships. It led to me learning, of course but noting good came out of it besides that. I am very fortunate to have many, many friends that love me and want to be there for me and I’ve only really recently realised this. So when I feel down my first move is to a friend I know is available and TALK to them.

To practice what I love: Last year I wasn’t the best at doing what I love, which if you think about it is quite sad. I didn’t practice the instruments I play. At the start of the year I did way less creative writing and writing songs. But if I want this to be my future I need to spend every hour I can doing said thing. So this year I’m focusing on putting time, energy and imagination into everything I love.

Be happy to be me: I’ve started to realise that I need to accept my flaws for what they are. If people don’t like me for that then what’s the point? At the end of November last year I realised that I couldn’t be bothered to wear huge amounts of makeup to school. At 7am in the morning the least I want to be doing is slapping a layer of foundation on my face. Under all the hormones and stress of school life I need to let my skin breath and have a chance at being clear. So this year I want to make being me and loving myself for that a priority.

Spend a good amount of time on homework/coursework: I’m at the age where every piece of work I produce is important and marked. If I want to get the highest grades possible i need to slow down (see there’s that phrase again) and take time with what I hand in. Before I was rushing and in my eyes not doing the best that I knew I could. My grades are good, but they could be better if I put even more time into it. I want to be proud of what I create.

Now onto the slightly less deep ones……….

Tidy room, tidy mind: My room can become a war zone. And even I’ve learnt that I work my best and am in the best mental place when my room is clean and tidy. I want to keep my room relatively clear throughout the week and then If it does get a little messy to clear it up at the end of the week.

To read 25 books: I love to read but last year I found reading becoming less of a priority. If I want to become an author and improving my writing the only real way to do this is by reading books. I’m setting myself a goal to read 25 this year. Every night, 10 minutes – maybe more. If you do the maths it comes to around two books per month so fingers crossed. I know I can do this if I put my mind to it

To listen to 20 new musicals: I again love musicals! Last year I rediscovered my love for musical theatre and listened to loads of musicals. However there are so many more I want to listen to that if I can add twenty more to my list that would be incredible! I’ve also decided to use a spare notebook I have to jot down the OBC, my favourite songs from the recording and it’s status on Broadway!!! I really hope this increases my knowledge of Broadway and actors as well!!

Well there we go! They’re my resolutions for the year ahead! What are your goals for 2018? Do you think you’ll achieve them? Let me know! And until next time ttyl x

Am I always wanting to stay in my boundaries?

A few months ago I was asked, by a great friend of mine if I wanted to go to a party. To cut a long story short, I said no. For many reasons I can assure you. However one of those reasons were that it’s not in my so called ‘boundaries’. For me, and my personal views I don’t want to get wasted, search out some lonely soul amongst hundreds and find myself several hours later tangled in a heated mess head first in a strangers mattress. I don’t like the loud noises, the uncomfortably close bodies and illegal activities, that just isn’t me. I’m more of the ‘stay at home and read a good book while listening to dodie and possibly lighting a candle’ kinda girl. But there still is a little bit of me who wants that thrill, wants to get completely drunk and have that fling with a stranger with a familiar face. There is still part of me that craves that lust and adrenaline, to utterly loose myself for one night. To look at myself the next morning and wonder who the hell I am.

A few nights ago in the early hours of the morning I found myself in a conversation with my friend Amber about all of this. I can’t exactly remember how it came about but it really got me thinking. I’m growing up and yes there are some anxieties I have around party’s but there is no doubt that I’m starting to desire the things you only really do when, you are groaning up.

I’m going to make this post like a two way interview. I will list some questions and then underneath will be both mine and Ambers responses to said question. (Please bare in mind as unlike me Amber has actually been to parties even though we both share the same opinion on them)

Do you think there are certain boundaries you’d be willing to break at a party? Or just in general?

Lia: Well for me, going to a party is basically breaking certain boundaries, I’ve told myself that parties aren’t good places and I try to avoid them but if I did go to one yes I think I would

Amber: I’d say parties are the place where I’d be most likely to break boundaries however, with that being said I think it generally depends on who I’m with, how much alcohol I’ve consumed and my mental state as to how far I’d go

Are you willing to completely loose control of your body and actions just for the moment and deal with the circumstances later?

Lia: Yeah, I whole heartedly think that loosing yourself in the moment is something I’d do. The next morning isn’t going to happen and your body just wants what’s good right then

Amber: yes definitely, when you’re in the moment it’s so easy to lose control and I’d say at the moment yes I’m definitely willing but there’s always the next morning when regrets come easy

In your mind what comes to you when you think about ‘having a fling’ or ‘getting wasted’?

Lia: scared, anxiety, regrets

Amber: Regrets ngl

Opinion on parties in general?

Lia: I feel like at the age we are they can be irresponsible and possibly dangerous. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of things I’ve seen posted on social media that makes me slightly anxious BUT I feel like at certain times they can be great

Amber: depends on the day, sometimes just the idea of a party can make me really anxious and then when I eventually make it there I end up crying in the bathroom lolllll but then other times all I want is to let go and party and it’s the perfect cure for a shit week

Do you see yourself going to house parties/night clubs a lot as an adult?

Lia: Yes, I can picture myself going to parties as I grow up but I feel like peer pressure am also be a reason for going

Amber: most likely yes, I think I’m letting loose and partying is a big part of growing up and it’s key in learning from mistakes

Well that about sums it up for today! Let me know your answers or opinions on this topic in the comments!! Thank you Amber for getting on board with this you’re a great person and I’m so lucky to call you one of my best friends ❤️

The Pros and Cons of ‘talking’

Hey all and recently a lot has happened (as noticeable from the lack posts. Sorry lads ya girl was busy!!) but something in-particular caught my attention and then spiralled me into a whole chain of thoughts and here we are, again, ranting on the internet about it…Which leads nicely into today’s topic, talking.

So my guess is everyone reading this has heard at least one person in there life say “Hey come talk to me or [insert name]” if you haven’t I don’t believe you. However I feel like what a lot of people don’t realise there can actually be good things and bad things about opening up. Maybe there isn’t to all people but to me, there is. This is probably the reason I don’t tend to speak up when I know I should.

School:

This might not be the case in every school but in mine and others I know of it sure as well is. Teachers saying that if we want to ‘cry on their shoulder’ we may. But then when we do they completely strike us down telling us we’re ‘looking for attention’ or should ‘go outside and take a breath of fresh air’ (I’m not even exaggerating there. When I actually went to go and speak to someone about how I felt I literally got told to go outside and breathe, like I’m sorry mate but I’ve just come from outside I don’t need to step out there again).

I think this actually happens more than it should. That’s sad, real sad. I think the most common misconception of today’s teens is that unless they’re clinically proven to be depressed or mentally unwell in any way they don’t feel sad. (Before you shoot me down I’m not throwing shade over people who are the point I’m trying to make is that everyone has bad days no matter they’re mental state.) People become scared to speak out due to fear of not being considered important enough to listen to or their thoughts and feelings are considered invalid against others. Which I can promise you is how I feel on pretty much every occasion I think about speaking to someone. Once schools realise that everyone should be treated as someone new and that them as teachers don’t know everything about every situation we’ll have some more progress.

Friends:

Along with the teachers saying we can talk to them I seem to hear a lot that friends are great to also talk to, which, they are. I have some great friends that are constantly there for me if I need them to . But again there are a few disadvantages that I feel come with that.

If you’ve read my blog post on ‘Pressure to be a good friend’ you might know what I mean when I say I don’t want to burden my friends with my issues. I look at some of my friends and would love to talk to them about how I feel but then I find myself worried that they have so much to deal with I’m just adding to the load! (Please tell me some of you feel the same). So then I completely scrap the idea and stay quiet. I know that most of my friends would be willing to listen to me rant but in the moment it doesn’t feel right.

Another maybe slightly more dark side of that is what if they become concerned and tell someone? I totally get that it’s the best thing to do and I’d probably do the same if I was in the same situation but it could damage trust within the friendship if someone specifically said they wanted it kept private.

There may be other points that I haven’t covered that you may feel are a factor to why people don’t speak out, if so what are they? Let me know down in the comments (:

Let me also point out this is an opinion based post, this might be the complete opposite to others feelings and judgements don’t take mine to be the bible, please x

However, it is good to speak out to friends, family or teachers if you are feeling down. It may not be easy but it can lift such a huge weight off your shoulders. I hope you’re all having a good day and are enjoying the Christmas season!!! Ttyl

My first time (theatre edition) 🎭

Hello all I hope you’re having a good day and today I bring you another theatre related post!!!

So recently I’ve stumbled along a performer/youtuber called Katherine Steele. She makes theatre related videos and honestly they’re incredible! She is so friendly and interesting to listen to! I can proudly call myself part of the Theatre Thursday Fam!! A while ago Katherine made a video where she made a tag for theatre kids to talk about their first times!! I thought it would be a great idea for a blog post as I have some quite……..interesting first times so here we are!! I hope you enjoy and I’ll leave a link to Katherine’s channel as I genuinely believe you should all look her up and she deserves so much more love than she’s already getting!

First musical you saw?: This is tough as I’ve been going to see musicals ever since I could talk so to remember the exact first one would be impossible. As a young child I did go and see a lot of pantomimes which for those of you who don’t know they’re fairytale stories put into a musical that is interactive. So some shows would get audience members up on stage, some would throw sweets out to the audience etc, the main fairytale that seemed to kept getting done was Cinderella. HOWEVER the first proper musical I remember going to see was Wicked in London for my 13th birthday which was insane!!

First musical you performed in?: As far as my memory goes it was Wizard of OZ and I was in the ensemble, for anyone wondering. I think I was 4 or 5 so my memory is kinda hazy except what’s been recorded!

First Broadway crush?: Okay this is a hard question because I’m rubbish with remembering actors names BUT there is an actor called Zachariah Sterner who is currently starring in a production of spring awakening and I’m not gonna lie I do have my eye on him (;

Like can we just talk about that beauty???

First lead role?: Ahaha oh wow don’t I have a story for you!! Let me just set the scene, it’s the first week back at my community theatre/ stage school after auditions and they’re assigning parts for our up coming musical, hairspray!! Hairspray is one of my favourite musicals of all time so I was super excited but I didn’t expect to get anything more than ensemble. Then they get to who’s going to play Sweaweed, the BLACK, MALE , AMERICAN. Just pointing that out…..and due to a lack of older boys guess who ended up playing someone the complete opposite to her………. it was a great part but something I’d never normally play. But honestly I’m a custom to getting males due to not many males at my community theatre. And the worst part is I’m a Soprano and in my opinion look pretty feminine, I’ll never know why I kept getting male roles

First dream role?: In all honesty I think it was between Christina from Be More Chill and Elphaba from Wicked but they’re definitely on my list of characters I’d love to play

First play you saw?: I actually have never seen a play live but I’ll be going to see War Horse (a.k.a my first play) on my birthday and I’m super excite!!!!

First play you performed in?: Again I’ve never done a full production of a play. I’ve done extracts from different plays but I’m currently working on the Crucible at school!! So there’s your answer!!

First Broadway show you saw?: Well, living in the UK that’s kinda impossible unless I’m willing to give up my life savings (I am but probably shouldn’t) however I have seen the Lion King on the west end which is our equivalent to Broadway. But if I did get the chance to see a show on Broadway I’d love to see Newsies, Dear Evan Hansen, Hamilton or Waitress as I love all 4 of these musicals, they’re seriously incredible!!

First stage kiss?: at the age of 14 surprisingly I’ve never had one….. I think I’d be great at them though getting that romantic tension and all (what am I talking about…??)

First moment you realised you loved performing?: I’m going to give you two times (hope I’m not bending the rules too much) the first time must have been when I first joined my stage school at age 3, I’d always look forward to classes and even though I was so young I would put all my energy into everything. The second time was when I found Katherine’s channel. I felt like theatre before I came across her content was painted in black and white but the moment she started talking about theatre I instantly fell back in love with it all so thank you for that

First school musical: Minus the nativity plays I did when I was 4-11 it would have to be Little Shop of Horrors when I was 12/13 For those curious I was in the ensemble and I LOVED it!!

First non school musical?: This would to be when I did We Will Rock You for my performing arts exam!! I was a Gaga girl and get this…. bob the builder…..(there were too many people who wanted to take part in the exam and there’s a scene where loads of famous characters come into a hotel so we had voldermort and of course Bob the builder) also I got a distinction in the exam!!!

First summer show?: Ahhhh I do love the summer shows I do!! Constantly sweating and out of breath (:!! Well this would be the Addams family!! I loved doing this as again it is a very underrated show and I love the music from it!! To carry on my male acting career I played fester and yes I did have to wear a bald cap.

First crush on a cast member?: As far as I’m aware his name was Joe and literally all the girls in the show wanted to be his, he was hot okay but we don’t talk about what happened….. he definitely didn’t think we were all creepy and leave as soon as the production had finished

First major onstage mistakes?: Ah, this still haunts me to this day! I was playing Bagheera in the Jungle Book but also a tiger in one of the dancing numbers. So as the show goes I had my huge scene and then straight after (2 minute gap to be exact) I was back onstage in a different outfit AND different makeup. So to do this in time I had to run off in the black out to stage right. But in the midst of it all I ran off stage LEFT!! I was stood there wondering why my dresser hadn’t come round when it hit me I was in the wrong side. When I got there I knew I’d be late on, which I was and came running on in the middle of the dance. Admittedly I was only about 8 BUT STILL!! So now I make sure I know exactly where I need to head off!!

So that’s all the questions!! I hope you enjoyed this because I certainly enjoyed writing it!! Again thank you so much Kath for making this tag and I’ll leave her channel below!!

Katherine’s channel

Here’s the questions if you fancy answering them !!!!

The Dear Evan Hansen challenge 👕

Hello guys! Hope you’re all having a great week!! If not then try reading a book or going on a walk? Today I’m hitting you up with a tag (how original). I’ve been wanting to do this tag for a while now but to actually explain my reasonings behind each question. So here we go!!!! 

Also side note you might not enjoy this post if you’re not a fan of Dear Evan Hansen so feel free to come back next Tuesday for a different post (: KK 


Favourite DEH character? It would have to be between Connor Murphy and Zoe Murphy. Connor because I relate to him so deeply and I partly understand how he felt. I also feel sorry for him as I feel like he didn’t get all the recognition he deserved when he was alive. However I do love Zoe, the things she goes through and how she deals with it is something I’ll always admire. I love how that character is mapped out and the background to every relationship within the musical. She shows a passion for who her brother was and doesn’t know how to feel about him which I feel like brings more complex meaning to her role in the plot. 

Favourite DEH song?: This is tough because I love them all so so so so much. But I think the one that stands out for me is “You will be found” it has the most meaning for me and I relate to it out of all the songs probably the most. Also the first time I heard this song I was crying a river so if that doesn’t show you how much I love this musical then I don’t know what will. As well as that the blend of all voices in the soundtrack is beautiful and honestly I wish I could do something like that one day. 

Unpopular opinion? I only really know of a few but one of the ones I actually agreee with is that “To break in a glove” is actually a REALLY good song. Apparently a lot of fans of DEH don’t like that song because it’s “weird” or as my friend describes it “it goes on too long” but I really like the meaning behind that song and I love Micheal and Bens voices together as they have that unique spin on each other that I can only imagine of being able to achieve. 

Popular opinion?; I’m not sure if you’d call this a “popular” opinion but personally I love all the understudies equally as much as I do with the main cast. They all have the same (but different) talent and I feel like they’re underrated so much!! I’ve only really heard/seen Micheal Lee Brown, Garret Long and Colton Ryan perform so I can’t really give an opinion on the others but the one I have heard make the musical their own and show everyone how incredible they are. I hate that some people have literally given their tickets away because Micheal or Colton were performing and not Ben. They are just as amazing and deserve a lot more love. Lucky I know a lot of people who also love the understudies which makes me really happy. 

Opinion on Zoe Murphy?: I love Zoe. As I’ve stated above she is one of my favourite characters for many reasons and I really DO see myself in her and her actions. I think one of the things I love about the character is that she chooses to forgive Evan even if he has caused her more pain than imaginable. She does turn around and say to Evan that she will forgive him and I just think that is so beautiful. In all the drama and chaos that is erupting all around her she is the peace yet stable person in the whole thing. 

Opinion on Larry Murphy: HIGHLY UNDERRATED!!!!! I feel like Larry is very underrated. The role he plays throughout the story does bring to it. He’s the busy yet sensitive guy. I’ve heard the performance Micheal gives of Larry during words fail and you will be found are unmissable. Obviously 90% of that is down to Micheal but 10% is really down to the character itself. I fell like I’d like to hear more Larry in the musical though. But besides that I love him as a character and wish I knew more about his part. 

Would you sing requiem for Connor? If we’re talking about this from an audience point of view then Y E S! As I have already mentioned I feel like Connor never gets the true love and attention Evan is given. He just wanted a friend. The reason he took drugs is because he felt alone and he wanted a friend. He NEEDED a friend. I’ve read a theory that the reason Connor keeeps Evans letter is because that’s how he feels. Maybe all his hope was pinned on Zoe realising. Maybe he did think if he disappeared tomorrow no one would notice or care. I know he hurt his family but I genuinely believe he should have been given a chance. S yes I would have. Maybe not if I was a character and didn’t know the context but I sure as hell would have if I did. 

Least favourite character?: You are basically making me pick between breathing and water? That’s impossible!! If I have to be honest it would probably be Alana Beck though as I don’t really know her character THAT well so I can’t give an opinion on her role. I also suppose the bits of her character I do know I don’t really fully relate to so it’s hard for me to find sympathy in her part.  But that is the only reason why however I do love Kristolyn who currently plays Alana though! 

Opinion on “If I could tell her”: I actually really love this song. When I first heard it I did believe it was Connor saying those tings but obviously as I became more invested in the show I realised it was actually Evan confessing his love for Zoe which just in my opinion makes the show and their relationship 10000x more powerful and beautiful. I also am in love with the way the song sounds. I can only really put that down to the musical team but I’m still obsessed with it and it truly is a fantastic song. 10/10 

Have you seen DEH live?: Sadly no. As it is currently on Broadway which is in New York and I’m from the United Kingdom that is on the other side of the world and I don’t think my parents are willing to pay that much money JUST to go there plus the money it costs for the tickets. Yes that does mean I can’t see the OBC but hopefully when it does come to the uk I’ll be able to see it on the west end. 

Opinion on Alana Beck: As i said previously I don’t really know her character that well so it’s hard o give a full opinion on her. From the pieces I am aware of her character holds a huge meaning to the show and I love her part in the performance. 

Least favourite song?: Can you have a least favourite song?? Well if I had to pick it would be to break in a glove as for me, in my opinion it doesn’t really further the plot so I get a little bored of it at times. It’s nothing to do with the voices or actors just the way it’s put into the musical. Again I don’t know the whole background to it so maybe there’s more to why that song is included but for me it doesn’t really benefit the performance. 

Most underrated song?: For me this is probably so big/so small. When I first heard this song I didn’t really understand it and again it didn’t have that much meaning to me. But as I grew more towards the musical I learnt it’s true meaning and now every time I listen to it I am completely consumed by tears and emotion. Rachel also sings this song SO well it’s unmissable. So I feel like people need to appreciate this more than they do because it’s highly underrated. 

Most overrated song?: I don’t think there really is one that is “overrated” as it be. Possibly Dor Forever as Evan in the show has actually already started the lie and he’s just adding a huge part to it but in all honesty I dint think there is an overrated song. They all deserve equal amount of love and that is all. 

Favourite song in act 1: Maybe “waving through a window” it is an incredibly powerful song with a lot of meaning and you’d be silly to not appreciate this. Ben Platts voice in this is also insanely strong and I look up to him for that. I’ve seen a few clips of this song performed on interviews etc and wow! When you add the whole cast to the mix it makes it just completely and utterly overwhelming and you can tell that is what they’re going for and it works!! So probably WTAW. 

Favourite song in act 2: Ah this is hard! I love all the songs but “Only us” is such a beautiful song and out of context it’s just absolutely incredible. I’m in love with the piano at the start and I really think it’ll be a song I have at my wedding (if I get married as it is so powerfully magical. 

“You will be found” or “a part of me”? Ah god this is really hard as I love both so much! But You will be found has so much meaning to me and it means so much to me that I have to choose that

Opinion on Connor Murphy? I feel like Connor Murphy is a very crucial but abandoned character. The way he works into the story means he never dies but I’d love to see know mire about his past before they jump into the whole thing. Maybe a monologue or a song about how he feels as a character. 

Favourite part of act 1? Probably the scene where Connor signs Evans cast as it’s the only moment in the musical where they’re both face to face and admitting how they feel which is beautiful 

Favourite part of act 2? The orchard scene at the very end of the musical. It doesn’t give a full happy ending but it satisfies everything that has happened and leaves you feeling like everything can be okay 

Favourite Jared Klienman moment? Right, this is a question I’m going to struggle with as I haven’t actually seen the musical!! Probably when he says “there’s nothing unrealistic about the love one man feels for another” in sincerely me. It’s so iconic 

Favourite Evan and Zoe moment? When they sing only us as it’s the bit in DEG where it’s not about this whole situation it’s about them and the world and I love that 

What do you honk jareds favourite type of bath bomb is? Urm u think he’d like a good citrus scent. Like orange or lemon… and a slow fizzing one 

Favourite overall moment in the musical? I think when Evan confesses the truth that’s quite memorable. Also the emotion every single one of the actors give in that scene is incredible 

Favourite cut song? A little bit of light. It tells a little about Connors life and made me cry the first time I heard it 

Least favourite cut song? In a bedroom down the hall. As much as I love it I feel like so big/so small brings out more emotion that that does 

Favourite OBC member? Honestly I could never choose. They’re all so lovely. I’m going to say Will Roland though as he is a legend and I’d love to meet him 

Favourite understudy? Ooooooooo that’s hard!! I’m going to say Colton as he seems absolutely lovely and I bet he has amazing hugs 

Tree bros, yes or no? TES and no, I’m undecided 

What does DEH mean to you? I’m not going to ramble on as I have made a whole post about this but it has brought me friendship, more love for musical theatre, passion, smiles and made me feel less alone and I can’t imagine a life without it I hope when it comes to the uk I’ll be able to go see it 

Why I love Dear Evan Hansen: https://krazykoalasite.wordpress.com/2017/08/29/humans-are-complex/

So that about rounds it off for this post! I’ll leave the questions below if you fancy answering them! I wanted to post this now as Ben Platt left Dear Evan Hansen on Sunday and he will be missed so here’s to him and all his incredible work 💙👕🎭

Will this always be my dream? 

I remember back when I was about 6 my teacher asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of “mother” or “doctor” I can’t remember. When I hit the age of 11 my answer changed. This time it was a performer, someone onstage. Someone who sang their heart out, learnt all the lines they had to and danced till they could dance no more. When I turned 13 it changed again, a singer/songwriter and last year it was a author. But now, right this moment I would exchange anything to be cast in a west end or Broadway show. How did those feelings change you might ask? To tell you the truth I don’t know either. To be completely honest I’ve always wanted to be up on a stage giving it 110% but if that’s always possible is another question. If my life will turn that way, another question. I’m jealous of my friends who have the talent I feel like I’ll never be able to have and the opportunities they get. However my heart does a little flutter everytime something truly incredible comes my way. What I’ll be doing in 10, 20 or even 30 years time remains and still is a mystery to me. 

At the moment I’m working my butt off to write, write songs, books and of course, blog posts. You can’t achieve anything unless you put the work in. But finding time again is hard and that spark of passion I get from these things feels more like an ache. 

It’s got me thinking though. Do our end dreams change over time? Not the small ones like “it’s my dream to meet [insert name]” or “it’s my dream to travel the world” but the dreams that will make us cry after they’ve happened. The dreams that keep us passionate. The dreams that give us our personality and happiness, those dreams. Letting a dream go is like saying goodbye to a child going to university, it doesn’t feel right but it also feels more right than anything else in the world. I’d say let it go, see what happens. It might come running back 5 years later to give you a big hug, it might never be seen again, but a dream isn’t worth keeping if it’s getting to hard to look after and is giving you heart ache not heart warmth. But again don’t give yup on dreams if they are tough, what’s a dream worth having if there’s no suffering? 

Here is a list of a few of my dreams, big and small 

  • Seeing a Broadway show in NY 
  • Being cast in a professional show/musical 
  • To release an album or EP 
  • To write a book 
  • To get the highest grades I can in A levels and GCSEs 
  • To grow this blog to 500 followers 
  • To attend as many concerts and book signings as I can 

So there we go. Have you got dreams? Are they worth suffering for? Have they changed over the years? Let me know in the comments (: 

Emma Blackery – The musician who makes YouTube videos 

Hello everyone. Today I’m wanting to bring your attention to someone I’ve looked up to for nearly a whole year. Someone who has never failed to put a smile on my sad face, someone who has, well changed my life, for the better may I add. Her name is Emma, Emma Blackery (I kinda hoped you knew that as it is in the title of this post). Emma for me is like the sister I never truly had. She’s someone who can instantly brighten your day JUST from a video, song or even tweet. Those people are very hard to find and to find them is a miracle. Anyways enough with the rambling I want to explain to you why I love this fantastic person so much. 

Also please note that I was lucky enough to meet Emma and I did write a semi personal letter to her but there is so much I want to add to that and say to her if I had another opportunity to so this is 50% of why I wrote this……. 


So I’m going to start right back at the beginning when I first “found” Emma. It was late 2016 (October I’m pretty sure) and I was sat in my friends car driving home after spending the day together. She turned to me and said “Have you heard of Emma Blackery?” Of course not having a clue I said “Not really why” “oh just because she’s really funny and I’d think you’d like her music” And that’s where it started. I got home that evening, logged onto YouTube and put her name into the search bar. What came next I wasn’t prepared for. I was met with this gorgeous, honest and quite funny girl smiling at me talking about how someone had stolen her video. Id be lying if I said I didn’t fall in love with her and her personality straight away. That night I spent binge watching Emma’s entire channel hooked on what she had to say. Completely mesmerised by her honestly and maturity. In that one night I think I gained more knowledge than I would in an entire year at school. I then moved onto her music, and my God, my friend was not wrong when she said I’d like her music (well maybe slightly as I love it). Emma’s style in music for me is something completely and utterly unique. She has a talent I can only dream of having. So that’s how I came to find Emma, and man let me tell you how happy I am that I clicked that subscribe button almost a year ago

There are two times I distinctly remember that Emma helped me in one way or another. The first being to do with friends. I had recently told one of my “best friends” that I didn’t like the way our friendship was going. But I felt TERRIBLE after. I was going to give up to an extent, just give up. But I sat there, on my bed. Telling myself just to maybe watch one of Emma’s videos. “You never know it could cheer you up” I told myself. So I did. But the video I found….didn’t cheer me up but made me feel okay again. It was the “5 things you should hear video” and to anyone who’s watched that knows what I mean when I say it was just what I needed. I needed someone to tell me that what had happened wasn’t my fault. I’m not the one to blame. And most importantly “it’s going to be okay”. Again, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t spend the next ten minutes in utter silence thanking Emma for just being there for me even if she didn’t know it. Cheesy but true. 

The second time is slightly different and might I add dark? I was in a very bad place mentally and physically. I’d rather keep that private but just bare that in mind. I couldn’t sleep and just needed to get out of this slump for an exam I had the next day. I was alone, tired and sad, not a great combination. And I just sat there and then my phone buzzed letting me know I had a notification. It was from twitter. Emma had tweeted something that for the life of me I can’t remember now but I do remember it making me smile, laugh and again feel slightly better. After that I was able to sleep just from a simple tweet and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. For someone to have that sort of impact on your life is kinda incredible. 

Summer in the City and meeting Emma

So this summer I was lucky enough to attend summer in the City in the uk. And somehow found myself gaining a met and greet from Emma!! On the Saturday Emma performed as the headlining act for that evening. This is one of the many reasons I’m happy I went for the whole weekend. Emma’s stage presence is incredible. Throughout her performance I was laughing, smiling, dancing and screaming the lyrics at a level that was bound to damage my vocal chords. I was happy and I felt part of something for once. All the little stories she had about her songs and the tours she’d been on kept me glued to what she had to say. Not once did I think about opening up my phone and recording the performance as I just wanted to live in the moment. As well as the whole set up and just Emma being Emma her music is one I really enjoy and it sounds even better in concert!! 

So on Sunday I met Emma. After waiting in a two hour queue listening to her music it was my turn. In all honesty I was completely overwhelmed. I was standing about 3 meters (if that) from one of my idols/people I look up to (I hate the word idol). Anyways. I ran up to her and gave her a huge hug. (Her hugs are great for someone of her height (: aha joking). I gave her her letter and told her (vaguely) why she meant so much to me. I gained myself another hug and we grabbed a photo together before i gave her a ramble about how much the extracts from her new book (feelgood101 out now in Waterstones and any good book store) meant to me and how excited I was to read the whole thing and I remember her telling me to “keep writing” and Emma, I will I want to but I will I promise. 

Later on that evening me and my friends were screaming and smiling watching the summer in the City awards unfold. Then it came to the best song of the year award. We were all standing with anticipatio. I was secretly whispering “Emma Blackery, Emma Blackery” and at some point my chanting and the winner matched. I erupted into a mess of screaming, cheering, clapping and tears. I can promise you I wasn’t the only one crying. I was so proud of Emma as I knew she didn’t expect that. I don’t think any of us did. But she deserves it. Holy heck she does. Emma’s gone from something to everything and her music NEEDS to be appreciated. I’m so proud of Emma for that award so deserves it as I keep saying. It was crazy and knowing I’ve met her STILL blows my mind and I’m still overwhelmed. But I’m happy it happened and can’t wait to next time I’m able to see Emma again if that be in concert or at a meet and greet or just in the street. 

 

My friend took these photos of Emma’s performance for me

Reasons the world should and does love Emma 

There are a few things about Emma that I absolutely adore. I want to list a few but Emma overall is one of those people who never stop surprising you. Everyday is something new with Emma. One of the things I admire and wish I had was Emma’s honesty. She is so raw and brutal with what she says. There is no sugar coating it’s just plain fact or opinion. That honesty is something I wish I had and I’m working on. To go along with that honesty Emma is open. She’s factual about how she feels and if is feeling bad or down she may mention it but if she does is careful about how she does. She’s able to control what she knows is right and what isn’t. She puts what she’s learned into practice. She learns from her mistakes and makes sure she doesn’t repeat them. That is incredible I can only hope one day I can do that. She is also true to herself. She wants to write music, she writes it. She wants to put a video out she puts out what she wants to. She knows who she wants to be (or she appears to) that if anything is to admire about her. 

Speaking of music Emma has inspired me to write my own. I’ve never been a great music artist and I’ve found it hard to pinpoint one emotion and write about it but I’ve found motivation, inspiration and love for more music through Emma. Her music is so unique as I said and all the music she’s brought out I’ve fallen in love with over and over again. I don’t think I could ever pinpoint one one song I appreciate above the rest. They all tell their own story about Emma and with every song you learn a little more about Emma.. All of Emma’s music brings a smile to my fac,e and I couldn’t imagine not having them on my playlists. 

Her second channel (vloggery) is so calming and relaxing. It’s the part of Emma you never normally get to see from her on her main channel. Whoever I click on a new video of hers from that channel it provides me with more knowledge or inspiration on a new topic. It’s not full on or too intense it’s just her, just Emma no filter. It definitely feels like a one on one conversation on that channel. I could say the same for Emma’s live streams. Every Sunday (or just when she feels like it) Emma goes live and again it’s just her talking, nothing else, maybe talking about some new video or playing copyrighted music. They make me laugh, smile and feel warm inside. It instantly brightens my day and it agian feels like a one on one thing that is just between us. She’s also very honest In these live shows, if someone asks Hera pointless question she gives a valid response and I wish I had that in me to be able to do that. It is something I truly look up to her for. 


The advice Emma is able to give her audience on her personal experiences with life is something to admire. She is honest that school wasn’t the easiest, work isn’t all that it’s cut out to be and the people you fall in love with aren’t always who they say they are. Every single video or tweet or Instagram post she has made has some sort of experience of hers underneath its caption. People I know and have grown to love have also seen this. A lot of the advice Ive been able to give my friends is because of what Emma has said. Even if she doesn’t realise she has said it it’s proved a huge help in life to me. She knows what she is talking about and takes her own advice about having a break from the world and taking on your own passions. 


Another thing I love about Emma is her “fuck it” personality. If she thinks something isn’t right or she doesn’t want to do it, she won’t. That’s something I wish I had and I endlessly look up to. I’m working on trying to tell myself it’s okay to say no, it’s okay not to follow the crowd and I can imagine has taken Emma years to perfect but she’s done it. She’s also not scared to stand up for what she believes in. She has her own opinion on the world and it is her opinion. As well as that she only speaks her mind if she knows what is right, her opinions are complex and always have a reason behind them. It’s hard for people like me to speak our mind without being shot down and questioned for it. But I’m trying to learn that from her. 

Even if this is weird to like about Emma, her talking about North Korea I find incredibly interesting and I’ve only gained that passion for that from Emma, weird I know but I’ve discovered more and more about myself because of that. All the videos she’s made on NK have truly fascinated me. 


Emma’s book (feel good 101) 

I’ve sadly not got the full book just yet but i do have an extract that was given to me at sitc. I read it on the night before I met Emma and honestly, just from those few pages on a dead tree I felt something special. I felt happy, loved and like someone appreciated me. I fell in love with the extract and didn’t want to stop reading it. I knew I would love the entire book and Emma’s commitment to writing it is something truly incredible. Emma’s opinion changed on youtubers books and she ended up writing one, it just proves that any one can change if you give them the chance to. I can’t wait to read the whole thing but I know I’ll love it  

There is so much more I could tell you about this precious and inspirational human. I look up to her a lot, not just the good parts of Emma but the bad parts I know she’ll improve over time. Her music and writing is something that she should be proud of and her smile could brighten the world. Emma, if you’re reading this; this is only my story and how you’ve made my life a bit more bareabke but there are so many others that could say the same for your passions and beauty, millions even, and you should be proud of everything you’ve achieved so far and what you will go into in the following years. You’ve helped me become who I wanted to be and I couldn’t thank you more for that, thank you. Emma Louise Blackery x