It’s all sunken in 

Warning; just a rant and nothing else 

Honestly guys I feel like I’m loosing everything I love, friends, passions. Im starting to lose hope. Im going back to school tomorrow. It’s going to feel like a completely different place. No friends, no one to stand by me and say “hey it’s going to be okay” it’s all phone calls and messages. Yes, I have friends. Their pretty great. But even with them im second choice. It’s only just sunk in that I’m going to be alone. I was just on a phone call with a friend and she was talking about how great it was to be back with all my friends (when I’m not even going to be there) she was also saying she was going to miss me. Well….she was one of the only friends I really had…so well. You know I’m upset by it all. As soon as she hung up I burst into tears. It’s only just sunk in I’m having to go back to loneliness and people talking about me behind my back. It’s all just sunk in. I’m blank, I have no idea how tomorrow’s going to plan out. If I’m going to talk to people or not. I’m trying to laugh all the people off. Saying their just words but even then it still hurts. I probably sound like a wining cow but honestly. I kinda don’t care. I’m upset. I’m allowed to be. I think? Ugh I’m not sure. It’s only just sunk in. The realisation that I’m going back to hell tomorrow. You never really take for garunted something until you loose it. And wel, I loved those friendships I had. And yes, I will be back with them in 365 days but it still hurts. Hearing all their funny stories and funny things that should make a normal person happy, it makes me feel like “oh yeah remember your not with them this year, have fun walking around lonely.” 

Anyways ttyl my Krazies X 

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2 thoughts on “It’s all sunken in ”

  1. I know this is just words, and you don’t know me, but it will be ok. You’re amazing, I can tell just by reading your posts and the comments you leave on mine. If someone talks about you tomorrow remember that you are important and that whatever others think doesn’t have to effect you. You are awesome, and if they can’t see that they’re the ones with a problem, not you.

    Liked by 2 people

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