There are so many things I feel like giving up on and losing all hope of it. Essays, friendships, school, parents, myself?! But none of it makes sense. Sometimes I’m ok I can deal with everything and stand on my own 2 feet but sometimes I feel like just crying. When I want something to go right I will put my full 110% effort into it but when nothing else seems to work it annoys me. And when it’s constant I feel like it was all my fault. There are many things that I’m trying to make easier for myself but there are very few people who are bothering to help. One of them being me.
I’m trying to make friends so next year I won’t be a dark lost soul (only my friend will get that) and I will be able to shine next year and not just feel down. But when I know the people I am chatting to either don’t like me or aren’t bringing out my positivity it really makes me think. Stumbling along a good friend is like stumbling along Dan Howell. Very rare never really seen. I’m hoping the end of year camp will bring me some good friends if that be boys or girls. Just someone who can handle my weirdness and make me think positive not negative. And live up to my old friends standards. (They are very hard ones to fill)
I did something today that I don’t usually do. I complemented myself. Basically this had all been getting to me and I was walking home on the verge of tears and I said “You are a beautiful girl, your amazing caring and cool don’t let anyone tell you different.” And it did make me smile as cringe as it was. I do recommend!
So why am I giving up on school. Well it’s not exactly that but! I supposedly need extra support in class. And no before you all say I am not some dumb kid who spends their whole life being a total twat (no offence to twats) im actually (I think) quite smart. It’s something else that I may or may not go into in a different post. Let me know if you would want that or not. But what I find is when I most need that help, they aren’t there yet when I don’t need it they are all over me like a 3 year old. I would say about 2 teachers I know actually know when to help and when not. But I just give up on them sometimes I really do!
So why am I telling you all this? Well it’s because life can be hard and annoying but if it wasn’t like that we would miss out on a lot of opportunities to make ourselves better people. I’ve learned that I need to keep going and keep pushing and I will get my reward. But please just smile. Think about all your good things not bad and never let anyone ever put you down when you know you can aim higher than they can reach. See ya later my Krazies X