*Sighs* I really don’t know how to explain this. Once again if you feel the same or similar to me you’ll know what I’m talking about but this is a very hard thing to know and feel. Love. Do we have a soul mate? How long does love last? Will I find my love? Does it even make sense? I’m so young and yet I’m thinking about love, what’s wrong with me! Love as we all know is one of those things that only the strange know. But one of the things always spinning round my head is this whole concept that one day we will all have someone we are drunk with love for. Most of my friends think I’m daydreaming about Dan and Phil (most of the time they are right BUT NOT ALL). One of these thoughts that spin round my head is; I’m so young yet I’m already thinking about a relationship? I’m not sure if it’s normal for a teenager to be thinking about all this or not but it happens. But the thing that really confuses me is that I’ve ended a relationship I was not happy in yet I’m still wanting to love someone? Also it always seems to be older guys? I don’t know how but I think it must be the sense of protection from an older guy. And that’s why whenever I’m asked if I like anyone I say no because I’m not attracted to guys in my year. None of them are hot or “strong” if you see what I mean? They are all just weak and idiots and not someone I feel I would be happy with (no offence) im honestly not sure… That’s why I’m so eager to get into older years because then I feel like I’ll be able to be “free” I’m honestly not sure if any of this is making any sense.
Another thought that comes through my mind every hour is soul mates. Do they really exist? It’s a question I’m sure everyone asks to them self. Me personally I do believe in them it’s just the fact where in the world are they? They could be in Australia or the guy I sit next to in maths class? I hope one day I will find mine yet I’m still not sure? I have never felt what true love means…. Not yet anyway. That’s what worries me! My mum and dad lasted happy for about a year until all hell broke out! I don’t want to end up like that! I want to be one of those happy couples that stay married until they die! But I won’t know I will never know! It’s not always what you see in movies to be honest it’s quite opposite! That’s why spending my days sat in an algebra class annoys me! My mind comes across all these thoughts EVERY SINGLE DAY! While most of my friends think I’m thinking about Dan and Phil I’m thinking about love. You see all these cute couples on TV or in your own school and then you wonder what it must feel like. I suppose I’m just having to get on with my life and see where it goes. Because as we all know no one has any idea where life will lead us.
See ya later my Krazies X